Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. --Colossians 3:13 NRSV
There’s a lot to be angry about these days. Some of that anger is legitimate, because it is anger about genuine injustice faced by immigrants, Black people and Latinx people, low-income people and so on. Some of the anger is based on mass delusion fed by a media more interested in profits than telling the truth. This type of anger is based on conspiracy theories, misguided victimhood and even racism. Anger also comes when we experience loss, and we are experiencing losses of all kinds during the COVID-19 pandemic, from loss of mobility and activity to loss of health and even life. 2000,000 people dead is a significant loss. Whatever the source of the anger and resentment, however justified or misguided, the cost on our spiritual, emotional and physical health is high.
We were not created to hold grudges, stoke our anger and feed our resentments. Emotionally it makes us miserable and increases the misery of those around us. Psychologically it leads to loss of self worth, depression and self-medication via alcohol and drugs. Spiritually it takes us away from our center, which is God, and throws our whole life out of balance. Physically--well, the physical problems are perhaps easiest to track.
The Stanford Forgiveness Project occurred in 2001 and was the first university study that sought to intervene in people’s behavior when it comes to anger, resentment and forgiveness. The Stanford Forgiveness Project involved people with unresolved anger toward another person such as a cheating spouse or an overbearing parent. Participants rated their level of anger and stress. Half of the group took classes on forgiveness and learned relaxation techniques for managing anger. The other half did not. Following the classes those who had learned to forgive experienced less anger and stress than the control group. According to Dr. Frederic Luskin, who directed the project, “The study…found that by not harboring grudges the participants became less angry. Their level of hopefulness for the future…significantly increased, and they…felt more spiritual’”
Data from the Forgiveness Project and other studies indicates that learning to forgive results in lower levels of anxiety and depression. Whereas harboring anger increases the risk of heart attacks and impairs the immune system, forgiveness has the opposite effect. The Mayo Clinic shares the following about the health benefits of forgiveness:
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:
- Healthier relationships
- Improved mental health
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- A stronger immune system
- Improved heart health
- Improved self-esteem
Science continues to show what all major world religions and philosophies have known for centuries: resentment, the desire for vengeance and continual anger are bad for us and forgiving, kindness and grace are good for us. Jesus couldn’t have been any clearer about this truth, yet so many Christians walk around as if they breathed rage rather than oxygen. As Anne Lamott says in her memoir Traveling Mercies, “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die." Or as an unknown wise person once said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
You’ll probably hear me relate this very same information about forgiveness in a sermon sometime soon, because I believe all of us need to be reminded as often as possible of the benefits of letting go of our rage, resentment and desire to get even. We just can’t hear it enough. So as you cable TV news blares at you, notifications on your smartphone squawk at you, and your Facebook/Twitter feed presents a deluge of things to be outraged about, stop, take a step back, breath and spend time finding ways to turn your anger into actions that increase your well-being and that of people around you.
Grace and Peace,
Chase Peeples
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