Make no friends with
those given to anger, and do not associate with hotheads,
--Proverbs 22:24 NRSV
Are you familiar with “Florida Man?” This internet meme is a guilty pleasure of
mine. It’s been around since 2013 when somebody
on the internet noticed the outrageous news stories coming out of Florida with
headlines that always began with the words “Florida Man.” If you want an idea of the phenomenon, just
google the words “Florida Man” and see what comes up. Recent “Florida Man” headlines include:
“Florida man accused of
climbing onto semi in traffic during road rage incident”
“Florida Man Arrested
for Cashing in Lottery Ticket at Gas Station He Stole It From, Cops Say”
“Florida man arrested
after living in luxury suites in pro soccer stadium.”
You get the idea.
Dave Barry likes to joke that the
wackiest people in America all roll down into Florida. The Florida Man
phenomenon got so bad that the humorist wrote a book called “Best State Ever: AFlorida Man Defends His Homeland.” Barry
isn’t the only one whose made a living poking fun at their home state, satirist
Carl Hiaasen has another novel out right now about the over the top events in
Florida.
To be fair, I’m told there are
plenty of law-abiding and normal people who live in Florida. Also, the reason the whole Florida Man thing
is a guilty pleasure for me is because most of the wildest
headlines are people with real problems.
If you look beyond the headlines, the stories are often sad ones. An article in Columbia Journalism Review
pointed out the Florida Man phenomenon is "one
of journalism’s darkest and most lucrative cottage industries" where
"stories tend to stand as exemplars of the mythical hyper-weirdness of the
Sunshine State, but more often simply document the travails of the
drug-addicted, mentally ill, and homeless." This raises the question if there could just
as easily be a “Missouri Man” or “Kansas Man” phenomenon as well. If journalists were to frame the stories of
drug-addicted, mentally ill, and homeless people in our two states in similar
ways, we could have our own internet memes too.
Recently,
I’ve noticed a change in Florida Man stories that are probably true of Missouri
Man and Kansas Man too—not to mention Missouri Woman and Kansas Woman. The stress of COVID-19 combined with an
election season has provided plenty of opportunities for wild and wacky
headlines. Here are a few:
“Florida
man accuses of threatening grocery store employee with ax after being told to
wear a mask”
“Florida
man accused of firing shots inside Miami Beach hotel lobby over social
distancing”
“Florida
man accused of punching neighbor over Biden campaign sign: police”
I’m pretty
sure you could find similar stories in Missouri, Kansas and all over the
country.
It’s a
tough time with more reasons than normal to be upset and to react badly. As I scan this weeks headlines as college
students are back in school and elementary through high school students soon to
start back one way or another, I see lots of upset people on all sides of what
to do about COVID-19. I also see plenty
of conflict over politics on social media.
I certainly admit that there are legitimate injustices in our society
that are worth getting upset about, but I’m also pretty sure that most of us
need to just calm down and take some deep breaths.
The book
of Proverbs in the Bible has a lot to say about anger. I know sometimes these Bible verses can
oversimplify complex things. Sometimes
anger can be a healthy thing when we are mistreated, oppressed or abused. Anger can be a means of claiming one’s own
power. The kind of anger I think
Proverbs is generally talking about is one that is destructive in all the wrong
ways. This is the kind of anger that
sensible people have to apologize for after they calm down—you know the kind of
anger that happens when a teenager working in a drive through messes up your
order and you then take it out on your kids.
Not that I know anything about
that from personal experience.
Proverbs
22:24 says, “Make
no friends with those given to anger, and do not associate with hotheads.” What?
If I followed that advice, I’d have to stop watching the outrage machine
on cable news. If I didn’t associate
with hotheads, I’d have to un-friend all my “friends” on social media—and they’d
have to un-friend me as well. If I
backed away from people who are “given to anger,” I’d have to socially distance
myself from most everyone in our culture.
Oh wait. . .
Don’t be the Florida Man or
Missouri/Kansas Man or Missouri/Kansas Woman.
Step back from your computer keyboard or smart phone before you fire off
that reply to somebody with whom you disagree.
Turn off the news when you find your blood boiling. Take a deep breath and count to ten when you
are about to lose control over a person not wearing a mask at the super market
or depending on your point of view, when you are about to lose control because
a minimum wage employee asks you to wear a mask when you enter a store.
Do whatever you need to do to calm
down and chill out.
Ask yourself if this is really worth
getting angry about?
Ask yourself if your anger really
accomplishes something or if it is just self-indulgent bad manners?
Don’t be a headline—although if you
do, make sure it’s funny, because I need a good laugh.
Grace and Peace,
Chase
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