When he
had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let
down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all
night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the
nets.” When they had done this, they caught so many
fish that their nets were beginning to break.
--Luke 5:4-6 NRSV
My
family and I were watching a movie this week when Carrie Underwood popped up on
the screen in a cameo role. My sons vaguely know the former American Idol
winner and country music superstar from the musical introductions to Sunday night
NFL games. They are too young to understand what a big deal American Idol was
in its early seasons. I remember when Underwood won American Idol and received
a record contract. Her first single was “Jesus Take the Wheel.” I thought, “Oh
boy, what a dumb song title,” and I rolled my eyes at its overt sappiness.
I can’t
really say why, maybe it’s middle age or maybe I’ve experienced one to many
moments of feeling helpless in the years since the song came out, but I don’t
hate the song anymore. It’s still sappy and more than a bit manipulative in its
use of Jesus to get a song on Country radio, but I can relate to the character
in the song who hits some black ice, loses control of her car and realizes her
lack of control is a good metaphor for her life. I’m pretty sure anyone who
hasn’t hit a moment when they’ve done all they know to do only to realize it’s
not enough just hasn’t lived long enough yet.
I
listened to a minister friend of mine’s sermon from last Sunday where he
preached on the story in Luke 5 where Jesus enables his soon-to-be disciples to
catch a miraculous number of fish. When Jesus tells them here to put out their
fishing nets, Peter replies they’ve been fishing all night and have caught
nothing. Jesus tells them to try it again on the other side of the boat, and
when they do the nets are full. My friend interpreted the story as a metaphor
for all the ways we exhaust ourselves trying to do things with little to show
for our effort. When we finally humble ourselves and try it Jesus’ way the
results are far different. When we say, “Jesus, take the wheel. . . er. . . the
fishing net,” we have a better outcome.
Is there
a place in your life where you have exhausted yourself trying to do things
under your own power, because you have resisted admitting you have no control
over that situation? As Christians in America, we have been taught that faith
is about a set of beliefs rather than faith is about the practice of trusting
God. We understand faith as only an intellectual pursuit—a checklist of things
we say we believe that have no real bearing on our lives. I confess that I
often act as a “functional atheist”—as if God were not a real part of my life.
I am surprised each time I reach the end of my own ability and effort only to
discover what is beyond my control.
The
Episcopal priest and writer Barbara Brown Taylor writes the following about her
spiritual journey:
“I…arrived at an understanding of faith
that had far more to do with trust than with certainty. I trusted God to be God
even if I could not say who God was for sure. I trusted God to sustain the
world although I could not say for sure how that happened. I trusted God to
hold me and those I loved, in life and in death, without giving me one shred of
conclusive evidence that it was so.”
In other words, “Jesus, take the wheel” or the fishing
net or the parenting or the job hunting or the healing or the (insert your
anxiety here).
As a minister, I’ve learned how rarely I truly trust
God with my life. Despite preaching about it for a couple decades, I’m not
great at actually doing it. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised then to see that
church folks, even the most faithful ones, aren’t very good at it either. It’s
no wonder church leaders and the most ardent volunteers exhaust themselves
trying to do church, because they are doing it by their own power, their own
skills, their own best ideas instead of trusting God with the wheel or the budget
or (insert local church crisis here).
Whether in the church or in my personal life, I’ve had
plenty of experiences where I feel like I’m fishing all night without much to
show for it. How about you?
Grace and Peace,
Chase
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