The Power of Negative Thinking--Dialogue Column 5.1.07

Through a Glass Darkly (1 Cor. 13:12) by Rev. Chase Peeples

Let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

I learned this Bible verse in youth group growing up, and I have murmured it to myself on many occasions during my time as a minister, especially in committee meetings. The book of James is often described as “wisdom literature” in the same vein as the book of Proverbs. I can see why when I consider this verse. After Jesus’ commands to “love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind” and “love your neighbor as yourself,” I believe this verse should come next on the list of instructions for Christians on how to behave. I believe every church member who has ever served on a committee should have this verse memorized.

Since coming to First Christian as your pastor, I have been impressed overall with the kind of grace and love demonstrated by the members of our church. I believe that our church has a bright future, because of its ability to demonstrate God’s grace to our community. I do feel, however, that there is room for improvement, and one of the areas that we can improve upon as a church is the way our members communicate with one another and the staff. I have noticed that James 1:19 is not always the rule of thumb around here.

I don’t wish to imply that First Christian is a church in conflict or that there is open hostility during meetings or anything like that; far from it. As I mentioned, I believe that overall First Christian is a caring and gracious church to be a part of, but I have noticed that in certain situations some bad habits have developed, such as complaining, nitpicking and generally being negative. Some would say that this behavior is just a part of church life. Maybe so, but I’d like to set our expectations of one another a little higher than that.

James writes that just as an entire forest can be set ablaze by a spark, so also can the tongue cause great damage. This is certainly true. Hurtful words said in anger can leave lasting scars, and when they are said in church, a person’s entire image of Christianity can also be scarred. More often, however, hurtful language is used in more subtle ways through indirect comments, stern memos and careless e-mails. When Christians turn their attention away from the good things God is doing and towards petty matters, the result can be, if not a forest fire, then many small fires. Pretty soon a church can spend all of its time putting out these small flare-ups rather than doing the important work of strengthening the church and reaching out to its community. More than one church has died, because its members turned all of their attention inward to feed the fires of negativity and forgot their God-given calling.

Every organization, especially a church, needs to regularly reassess its goals and improve its performance in achieving those goals. This occurs through frank consideration of the church’s strengths and weaknesses by its leaders. Sometimes that may mean being honest about things that need to be changed or even done away with. This kind of self-evaluation, however, is very different from the kind of negativity I am describing. We must be careful to differentiate between criticism that is given with the goal of strengthening the church in a manner that is loving and gracious and criticism that weakens the church and hurts individuals. With this purpose in mind, I would like to ask each member of First Christian to consider the following before offering criticism about church matters, members or staff:

1. Ask yourself if you are doing so in order to settle a personal score or because you have negative feelings towards an individual? If so, you probably need to examine yourself to see if your feelings are valid. If you feel they are, then you need to go to that person and seek reconciliation in a caring and humble way. If that fails, you need to seek help from a minister or elder in the church.

2. Ask yourself if you are doing so in order to control or manipulate others? It is an unfortunate fact that manipulative people find their way to church, because they can get away with bad behavior. It is also unfortunate that manipulative people rarely will admit to being manipulative. Yet, if you do some honest consideration of yourself and pray about your behavior, you may discover that your criticisms stem from selfish desires rather than out of a desire to strengthen the church.

3. Ask yourself if the matter is worth the amount of energy and emotion you are placing on it? Is this matter really worth getting upset about? Will voicing a criticism in an emotional or angry manner really accomplish anything or will it make matters worse?
Ask yourself is there a better way to express myself? Will my criticism hurt someone else, if so can I phrase things differently to limit that pain?

4. Ask yourself if your criticism will help make things better in the church or if it will only make you feel better for getting something off your chest? If it is the latter, you should consider the best interest of the church and possibly seek out a minister or elder to talk to about your personal issues.

5. Ask yourself have I prayed about this? You may be surprised what God may reveal to you and how God can calm your emotions. God can help you to spend your time and energy in ways that lead to a fulfilling life and a vibrant church.

We have too many good things going on in our church to waste time on negative energy and negative language. God has even more great things in store for our future. Let us all commit to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” so that we may hear the still small voice of God that speaks in our midst.

Grace and Peace,

Chase