Respect for the Dead and Those Left Behind

I'm in Atlanta for the funeral of Jennifer's uncle. It's been interesting, heartwarming and sad to be here for such an occasion. Everything went very well as the service and afterwards when Jen's uncle Perry was buried in the family cemetery plot. It's been good to see family and to see how family members support one another during a time of grief.

I got to hear a good old-fashioned Southern Baptist funeral sermon today. The minister was from Jennifer's grandmother's church. He did a fine job. Sermons like this are all about faith and not so much about the deceased. They're sort of a cultural thing and are generally expected. You are reminded of the fragility of life and urged to make sure that you have your own spiritual life in order--namely in terms of having accepted Jesus Christ as your savior. Brother Dennis did not cross the line into manipulation or anything like that. Instead, he held true to the form. Even though it was not my style, it was a comfort to Jen's family, especially her grandmother who buried a son today--so that comfort was greatly appreciated by me and all who care for her.

I've been reminded how much a church family can mean in times of grief. Yesterday, a car pulled up at Nan's house (Nanny is Jen's grandmother.), and a couple of women from her church got out and unloaded enough food to feed an army. There literally was not enough room in the refrigerator for it all, even though we all ate our fill before packing up leftovers. They comforted "Miss Vera" as they call Nanny at her church, and assured her that she was missed on Sundays since at 91 she can't attend any more for health reasons. It was touching to see the concern they had for her and the respect they showed her for all her many years of service to the church.
Similarly, at the service Brother Dennis was also very respectful and caring towards "Miss Vera."

Little things become big things when a family goes through a grief as Jen's family is doing. Her uncle was only 69 at his death last week from a three year battle with cancer. There's a lot of sadness to go around, and the love of my grandmother-in-law's church means more than I can say.

Today when we drove from the funeral home to the cemetery for the burial. I was astounded to see all the cars pulled over to the side of the road as the funeral procession drove by. I really didn't think in today's Atlanta people still did that. Men stopped on the side of the road and took off their hats. Such respect meant a lot to the whole family.

In our busy world where our mass media brings us pictures of the dead and dying every day, death can seem, well, routine. Yet, when it is someone you love and care for, it is anything but routine. I guess that's why I was touched by the care of people over the last two days--family, friends, church family, and strangers. When you are trying to put closure to a life of someone you love, every caring word and thoughtful action takes on an eternal significance.

Grace and Peace,

Chase