“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear”
--1 John 4:18
In my first ministry job, I was a youth director for a summer, and one
of the youth had a mother with severe mental illness. The woman was so consumed with anxiety she
could not leave her home, and it was an act of great love for her to allow her teen to go to youth camp and other activities.
Giving permission meant overcoming her mind’s constant alarm bells about
the dangers outside her home. She couldn’t
make the same choice for herself, but out of love for her child, she would sign
the permission slips.
During this time, when
many of us feel trapped in our homes for legitimate reasons, it is perhaps a
good thing to reflect on the role fear plays in our lives. Fear can be a gift which can help us avoid
danger, but the problem comes when our fears trap us in literal or spiritual
dwelling places that diminish our lives.
In order to survive as a
species, our ancestors had highly developed senses of fear. Those who weren’t cautious when they met a
new kind of snake or found a new type of mushroom didn’t survive long. This sense of fear dwells in our instinctual
brain, sometimes called the back brain or lower brain or even reptile
brain. Anatomically, it’s our amygdala
which causes us to act by instinct rather than reason, because the small
fraction of time it takes to reason through the issue may be too long. Yet, this overriding of reason does not serve
us well in modern existence where most of us do not face threats to our lives
at every turn. This lack of reason can
be manipulated by politicians, capitalized upon by the media, and misused by
spiritual leaders. The results of being
stuck in a state of fear can be paralysis, declining health, disengaging with
intimacy, making enemies out of friends and loved ones, and scapegoating of
others in order to give us a false sense of control.
Yet, the first letter of
John declares that God’s love casts out fear.
It’s a catastrophe that most examples of Christianity throughout its
history depend upon frightening its adherents either with earthly punishments
or eternal ones. 1 John declares fear is
not God’s character; love is. The antidote
to our unhealthy fears is allowing the God of love to enter the mental and spiritual places
where we are trapped by fear.
Glennon Doyle writes, “Scared
and sacred are sisters.” Rearrange the letters
in the word “scared” and you get “sacred.”
Our moments of fear can become moments when we become uncomfortable enough
to ask for God’s help. Sadly, in my own
journey, it’s usually when I do not feel in control of my circumstances that I
bother to actually admit I need God.
More than anything, I fear being in pain—emotional, spiritual, physical—I
want none of it. Yet, pain is only the
messenger telling us something is wrong and it needs to change. Both fear and pain have things to teach us.
Doyle writes in her book LoveWarrior, "Pain is not a sign that you’ve taken a
wrong turn or that you’re doing life wrong. It’s not a signal that you need a
different life or partner or body or home or personality. Pain is not a hot
potato to pass on to the next person or generation. Pain is not a mistake
to fix. Pain is just a sign that a lesson is coming. Discomfort is purposeful:
it is there to teach you what you need to know so you can become who you were
meant to be. Pain is just a traveling professor. When pain knocks on
the door—wise ones breathe deep and say: 'Come in. Sit down with me. And don’t
leave until you’ve taught me what I need to know.'"
Loving God, help me not to run away from my fear and
my pain. Help me to stop, listen and
learn from these teachers. Help me to
trust you are with me as I face the hard truths that make me want to run away
from my true self.
Grace and Peace,
Chase
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