When an Apology is not an Apology

I've been reflectiong an op-ed in Tuesday's NY Times by Stacy Schiff about the current spate of apologies and backsliding by politicians for misdeeds ranging from insensitive remarks to extra-marital affairs. These carefully worded NON-apologies are nothing new to politicians, but there certainly have been a lot lately Schaff notes that in this YouTube world even the most private words we utter can end up broadcast to the world--I guess there is a greater volume of things out there for people to apologize for.

One of the lamest was offered by Joe Biden, who blamed a humorless press corps and even his mother for why he described Barack Obama as "the first mainstream African-American [presidential candidate] who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” That's right up there with George Allen's "macacaw" comment.

This last year has also seen similar damage control operations in the guise of apologies have come from Mel Gibson, Michael Richards and other celebrities.

Perhaps it is just a sad fact of our current celebrity driven culture that the act of public contrition becomes a staged drama. Yet, I certainly have been on the receiving end of apologies that met the requirements of social niceties but accomplished little in the way of reconciliation or even sincerity.

My favorite "non-apology" is "I'm sorry if anything I did made you feel uncomfortable or offended." In other words, I'm sorry for your feelings--which are your responsibility--not because I actually did anything wrong.

It seems to me that an essential part of the Christian faith is repentance--admitting mistakes and changing behavior so that the mistakes are not repeated (or at least are repeated less often). Although I believe the grace of God is far greater than we realize, I also believe that taking personal responsibility is essential for any kind of spiritual progress to occur--just ask anyone who is in recovery from drug or alcohol abuse.

Perhaps such honesty is too much to expect from someone in the public eye, but for the sake of our country and society, I hope not.

Peace,

Chase